


Doctor's Note

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Hallucinations, Implied Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Schizophrenia, Schizophrenic!Jean, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-11 13:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2069709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if your lifelong hallucination named "Marco" was actually real?</p><p>A living, breathing, in-the-flesh person? Who was every bit like what you imagined?</p><p>Maybe I am crazy.</p><p>——</p><p>Maybe not one of my finer pieces, but my first attempt at a multichap fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saving a Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I've always been weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"When I wake up, I'm afraid somebody else might take my place x3_
> 
> _When I wake up, I'm afraid somebody else might end up being me"_

**Name: Jean Kirschtein**

**Gender: Male**

**Age: 23**

_Diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia_

_At 6:29 a.m. Jean Kirschtein attempted to commit suicide._

_A young male by the name of [removed] intervened and coaxed him down from the balcony ledge, promptly handing him over to authorities where he was then escorted to the Trost Medical Center. After evaluation, it has been confirmed he is without harm with the exception of preexisting self inflicted injuries and illnesses._

The therapist in front of me finally closed the file and pushing up their glasses along the bridge of their nose. Brushing back their messy brunette bangs, they glanced at me with a look of pity. I hated that look.

Everyone looks at me with that same look once they find out. Everyone feels the same damn need to baby me, it's so _sickening._ Crossing my ankles, I reclined back into the uncomfortably hard chair situated right in front of their desk. I made it a point to look everywhere but them, even when they spoke.

"Jean. Care to tell me what happened?" 

No reply. I heard their pen scribble across the notepad that was under the file. Just like it always was. Nothing about this room had changed, no matter how many times I had studied it. The walls were still some ungodly color of green, there were still too many plants in dire need of water, still too many piles of papers messily strewn over their desk. Still suffocatingly small.

"Come on Jean, you should probably tell them what happened this morning."

My gaze flickered to my left, to see him perched on the corner of their desk.

"Don't want to."

They glanced up, hazel eyes wide, lips poised to ask a question before I cut them off. "Not you."

"Is it.. Him?" I nodded feebly in response, still confused as to what had even occurred this morning.

"Tell them why you walked out on the balcony." He spoke softly, just like he always did. It was comforting, taking the edge off the constriction in my chest, heart fluttering like a bird in my ribcage. Licking my lips, I gripped the edge of the chair until my fingers cramped, glancing down at my torn red vans.

"I... Was alone.. And.. My Dad called... Asked me how I was doing...How college was.. Not like anything has changed.. I mean, I'm just a screw up, right?" The laugh I managed to shove past my lips sounded hollow and unconvincing, looking up to see their expression hadn't changed. I forged ahead, my gaze dropping.

"I'm a screw up, just like my father always said. And this, this is just another reason. It is my fault after all, I was never good enough no matter what I did. No matter what I did."

"Jean, you know its not your fault.." Marco was frowning. I hated when he frowned. It seemed so unnatural for someone who was always so happy.

"No! You don't understand, it is my fault!" My voice cracked, suddenly realizing I was standing, Dr. Hanji's hand on my shoulder.

"That's enough for today Jean. Please. Take a seat." I shrugged away from their touch, slouching in the chair and crossing my arms. I could feel my face twist into a scowl, staring at their name plate. There were a few beats of blessed silence before they piped up.

"He never called, did he?" It was subtle, but I felt my eyes twitch at the implications.

They thought I was a nuisance too. That I was crazy. Well I'm not.

And I damn well knew it.

I knew the fucking bastard had called, it wasn't _some made up shit._ I was fucking tired of my old man, fucking tired of everyone. I had wanted it all to go away, everything. Especially the voices. That small voice constantly telling me I'm not worth it, I should've never been born, I'm not living up to anyone's expectations-

"Jean?" There they go being concerned again.

"Yes. He called." They looked doubtful. Its this shit that always bugged me. They looked at their paper, scribbling some illegible shit before handing a paper to me. I turned it sideways, having to squint to even attempt to read their sprawling print. Or cursive. Or whatever weird ass blend it was.

"I think it's about time you had someone live with you. It must be hard living alone." My head snapped up, staring skeptically at them.

"....who?" I could take care of myself if that's what they were suggesting. But I wasn't about to admit the company would be nice. I wasn't the best company however. I'd take anything than being alone with my thoughts though.

Clapping their hands together, their voice became annoyingly chipper, regaining some of their energy. "He just so happens to be here today!"

"He?" I shoved my hands in my pockets and scuffed my shoes on the ground, my gaze flitting up and then down, shifting uncomfortably. I took a deep breath, standing as she led me down the narrow halls of the psych ward. Everything was sterile and white, devoid of anything but the zombies, stuck in their monotonous routines, and the hypers, people like Hanji who were boundlessly energetic. They flung open a door, a "Ta-daaaah!" And fancy hand flourish making them seem ridiculous as I glanced around them.

My mouth went dry, brow furrowing and looking pleadingly at Hanji and the smiling boy in front of me.

Oh hell no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Being me can only mean feeling scared to breathe_
> 
> _If you leave me then I’ll be afraid of everything_
> 
> _That makes me anxious, gives me patience, calms me down_
> 
> _Lets me face this, let me sleep, and when I wake up (I wake up, I wake up)_
> 
> _Let me be" -Afraid, The Neighborhood_


	2. Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is suspicious as usual and Marco reasons with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm nobody, who are you? Are you a nobody too?"_

The brunette in front of me had a hand on his hip, sea green eyes challenging me.

"Him? This is who you're pairing me with?" I made exasperated hand movements, the brunette tugging at his lab coat. They sighed, clapping a hand on my shoulder and getting close to my face. Way too close.

I cringed and leaned away as they spoke. "Jean, I've been seeing you for several years now and I've determined that he's the best fit for you. You're both similar in more ways than one, so give it a try!"

".....Are you trying to say he's crazy too?" That seemed to catch his attention, and I don't know if that was a good thing or not. Pointing a finger in my face, his lips turned down into a distasteful frown.

"I'm anything but." Pushing his finger away from my face, I leaned back. Does no one around here know about a thing called _personal space?!_

"He's gonna kill me! Can't you see the murderous intent?!" Hanji just laughed, pushing me closer.

"Excuses! We did an extensive background check on him. Eren here is the best live in companion you could hope for." Okay maybe that helped a little, but this guy just kept _staring_. Eyeing him up, I rubbed my arm, making eye contact. He seemed..... Intense... More intense than I could probably handle. I dropped my gaze again, grumbling as I resisted.

"Jean, you can't keep pushing away everyone forever." Marco leaned against the wall, catching my attention.

"Watch me." I muttered bitterly, scuffing my shoes again in a lame attempt to stall.

"You need him and you know it." Why does he always have to be right? He was also the only one who could soften me up from my usual irritable self. Maybe it was just my subconsciousness trying to make me more sociable. Whatever it was, I was giving in. I glanced up again and stuck out my hand, ramrod straight.

"Jean Kirschtein."

He glanced at my hand, then my expression. I was trying, give me some slack man. 

"Eren. Jaeger." He clasped hands with me and gave me a firm shake. Hanji squished us together in a bone crushing hug, just about squealing in my ear.

"Great! I'll file the paperwork! He'll move in with you today!" I wheezed, resting my hands on my knees as they let us go, Eren simply wincing.

"T-Today?" Great. Things just kept getting even better.

Next thing I knew, we were being dropped off by a cab, a bag slung over Eren's shoulder as he observed the shitty apartment complex I called home. It was nice- for me. No one questioned why I hardly ever left or why I was suddenly bringing back a stranger.

Well.. No one except my nosey landlady who looked like those old grandma's who are in charge of the local kitten sweater knitting committees swapping local gossip. Her hair was white as snow and would probably fall off her head if you so much as breathed in her general direction. So when she called out to us in her high pitched cringe inducing sugar sweet voice, I wanted to just melt right there on the spot. I reached for Eren's wrist and-

What the hell was he doing.

Don't engage, don't engage, don't enga-

I sighed, dragging myself closer as he struck up a conversation with my landlady. I wanted to claw my eyes out every time he made her laugh, my gaze wandering around the shabby lobby. It looked vaguely like the 20's threw up on it. Not that I minded, the twenties charm was a nice touch. But this stuff just looked ancient. And unclean.

I tugged on Eren's sleeved, nodding towards the elevator. He bade farewell to her and gave me a look. "Dude what's your problem? You should be thanking me."

"What for?" I frowned at him, drawing my shoulders closer together as I pushed the button numerous times before his hand rested on mine.

"Doing that won't make it come any faster. And because of me, she promised not to raise your rent even though there would be more than one occupant living in the room." He sounded exasperated, looking down on me like I was _helpless._

My lip twitched, crossing my arms and making a point to shove myself into the corner of the tiny elevator furthest from him when it finally creaked open. I tapped my foot restlessly, glaring at the numbers, willing them to move faster.

_He probably pities you. Can't even tolerate being out in public for more than a few minutes at a time. No wonder you have no friends. No one would want to befriend a recluse like you and you know-_

"Quit being so judgemental." I almost jumped, seeing Marco standing between us. I had been so caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed I had sunk to my knees, holding my head. I glanced up through my fingers to notice that Eren was also kneeling next to me, concern expressed quite clearly.

"You okay?" I nodded my head rapidly, noticing a slight tremor to my hands as I shoved them under my arms and slowly stood. I swallowed thickly several times, glancing shiftily at Eren before the elevator let us off. I couldn't trust myself right now, I needed relief.

I made to bolt down the hall, Eren's hand catching my wrist but I yanked it away, hurriedly flinging open my apartment door and locking myself in the bathroom. I heard his footsteps echoing down the hall as I sank against the door, focusing on my breaths.

 _In, Out. Repeat. In, Out. Bang, bang, bang._

I growled softly, my head hitting the door with a thump. "What?"

"You gonna be okay?" 

"Yeah." _That's a lie. And you know it. You've never been okay. Couldn't quite off yourself, now could you? Now you've got a babysitter of all things. Unnecessary. Look at all the things you've done. Making everyone worry about you._

I waited until he had walked away before sighing deeply. I was about to do something reckless. Again. My breaths shook as I yanked open the cabinet under the sink, digging for the small plastic box, the faint tinkle of metal promising to put my anxious heart at ease. My fingers shakily opened the lid, pushing up my sleeves as a pair of worn sneakers stood in front of me.

"Go away Marco." I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes, afraid I'd only find disappointment there for falling so far. I needed to cope, and this was how I was going to cope. I squeezed my eyes shut as I closed my fingers around the cool metal, the familiar sting painting red across my skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


	3. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being paranoid brings more fears than I care to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Keep on dreaming, don't stop giving, fight those demons."_

The cold rush of water did nothing to lessen the ache in my arms from the fresh scars, delicately treating the angry red crisscrossed marks along the inside of my forearms. Looking in the mirror, I hardly recognized myself. Flat amber eyes stared back through sunken circles of ash, reminders of how a good nights sleep were few and far between. I rubbed a hand against my cheek, making a note to shave later. I turned away from the mirror, my heart moving lethargically now that I was calm. My sleeves fell to sweaty palms, clutching the fabric so Eren wouldn't see as I slowly crept down the hall, the faintest shadow enough to make my heart leap into my throat.

"Why're you sneaking around like you've done something wrong?" His voice came from behind me and I nearly tripped, steadying myself before I turned to look at Eren. I swallowed, laughing nervously as I ran a hand through my hair.

"He's only a stranger because you keep treating him like one Jean." Marco's voice echoed close to my ear, his presence faintly reassuring.

"You know you can trust him.. He's here to help you." The hardest part was always trusting someone because trust was a weapon. Something that could be turned back on you.

"I uh... Didn't know if you uh..." Shit... What was I expecting? Him to leave? I twisted my hands together, looking at them because it was easier than looking dead on into his piercing gaze. He arched a brow, stepping closer.

"You're not hiding anything, are you?" I looked up. Big mistake. I felt like a deer in the headlights. He knew, didn't he? If anything, I was like an open book, scared far easier than I'd like to admit. Slowly, I made a subtle nod, worrying my lip between my teeth, flinching as he clasped my arm. He glanced at my arms and I wanted to yank them away, but that would only heighten his suspicion. Begrudgingly I nodded my head, watching him push up my sleeves.

I felt feeble and scared, expecting him to yell and degrade me but he did nothing of the sort. Eren just carefully examined my arms and then quietly asked me where I kept my blades. If anything, he seemed increasingly unsettled, any traces of his former self completely vanished. He left me to my thoughts as he retrieved the box, wondering why in the world he was so solemn...

Unless...

"This it?" His voice snapped me out of my thoughts, holding out the box. A wave of nausea swept me off my feet, a hand pressing against the wall as I nodded.

"I'm confiscating these. And anything else you might think of using. If you have an issue, _please_ talk to me about it. Okay Jean?" It was weird. Seeing him like this I mean. He simply brushed past me, the box tucked under his arm.

I just stared after him, leaning against the wall before disappearing into my room. 

Darkness enveloped me, the creaky springs of my old bed more comforting than I would've thought. I sighed pleasantly and drifting in and out of sleep. Memories tugged at my consciousness, dragging me deeper into the dark.

Blinking my eyes and rubbing them, I was back in the Psych ward, not a soul around. Lights flickered as I walked down the hall, peering into rooms. The hallway seemed endless, black and white tiles stretching before me, a simple white window never moving closer. As soon as I closed the door to another room, there was a man at the end of the hall, his back straight as can be. His hair was messy and the reek of alcohol drifted closer to me as I cringed.

I knew this man.

He began to walk closer, calmly, calculated as his shoes clicked on the tiles.

_Click, click, click, click._

Turning on my heel, my shoes squeaked, worn soles struggling to grip the tile as I ran, no closer to the end.

_Click, click, click, click._

All the doors from before had vanished, walls blank as I struggled to find a way out, turning a corner to find a small closet. I opened it and propped anything under the handle, whatever I could find to keep him out as I curled into the corner. Sweat rolled down my forehead, shivers wracking my body as my knees dug sharply into my ribs. 

_Please don't find me, please don't find me, please don't find me._

_Click, click, click, click, click._

The steps grew louder, pausing just outside the door as a broken sob left my lips, cowering with my hands over my head. The door was wrenched open and I tried to scramble back, away from his reach as the stench of alcohol burned my lungs. His hand yanked on my hair, pulling me into the hallway as I cried harder, my eyes squeezed shut.

**"L oo k... at... m e."**

His words were broken, fumes tumbling from his lips like steam as he yanked my hair again. 

**"I... S ai d... Lo ok... At me Son.."**

His voice boomed, a hand wrapping around my throat and held me up. My feet just barely touched the floor, my hands feebly clawing at his arm. I cracked open an eye, trembling as I was met with angry amber eyes, similar to my own. His hand was crushing my throat. I couldn't breathe. His face was too close. The scent, his scent was suffocating. Suffocating me. My vision blurred, black outlining the edges as he laughed, his lips moving faintly.

 **"W o rth l es s....."**

The bitter words ate me alive like acid, burning through my body as my hands fell limp. His laughter rang in my ears as it got harder and harder to breathe, a weight settling in my chest until my vision faded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


	4. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should save myself while I still can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm in too deep and I'm trying to keep,_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _up above of my head, instead of going under,_
> 
> _Instead of going under again"_

The darkness was kind of welcoming. At least then I was free from whatever my mind wanted to torture me with next. I faintly registered a hand on my shoulder, my body rocking back and forth.

Why was I moving again?

Oh. Right.

Eren.

_Just leave me be. You're better off not worrying so much._

Persistent bastard.

My body felt heavy, sluggish as I tried to move but I was just too _tired_. Unnecessary.

I wasn't worth it, so why did he keep trying?

"Because see's your potential Jean." Marco said from... Somewhere.. I couldn't see through all the dark sludge seeming to swallow me up.

"Its time to wake up Jean. You can't leave him worrying forever." I tried to focus on him, but he was as blurry as ever. I was sinking further into the dark when he knelt closer, offering a hand. I clasped my sweaty palm around his hand feebly, slowly rising from the surrounding darkness clinging to my skin. 

I woke with a gasp, eyes flying open and focusing on Eren's face which was uncomfortably close to mine and for a moment, I was incapable of moving. But as soon as everything started functioning again, I shot straight up, hands clutching my soaked bed sheets.

"Holy shit. Why the hell are you in here?" I held my hand over my heart, my pulse slowing from its previous fervor. Eren leaned back, running a hand through his messy brown hair.

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to eat out and I was comin' in to check on you when I found you all seized up and not breathing."

I blinked a few times, unclenching my hand and whispering softly. "Sorry.. I uh.. Didn't mean to freak you out like that." He waved away my apology, offering a hand with a determined look on his face. 

"It happens. No biggie. Come on, I'm starving and we're supposed to get to know each other."

I groaned internally because that sounded exactly like what Hanji would suggest and I _really_ didn't feel up to it.

Maybe I am weak. Or just a glutton for punishment. Whatever it is, I accepted the idiots offer.

I wasn't expecting a nice place though. Maybe just some rundown restaurant with good food and shitty beer. So when we pulled up to a nice looking place that had people going in and our of it, I immediately felt out of place. Feeling especially twitchy, I drew my jacket a little closer as Eren grabbed my arm and tugged me inside, mumbling something about how it "wasn't going to kill me."

He's right. It probably wouldn't. But when I caught sight of a familiar figure weaving through the tables, I thought my heart was going to stop. We were led to a table, settling in with our menus while I peered around mine at the waiter.

"Eren." I hissed through my teeth, getting the universal noise for "what?"

Rolling my eyes, I hissed again. Louder. _"Eren."_

Arching a brow, his menu hit the table. "What?" I swallowed, not wanting to make a scene.

"That waiter over there." 

Eren sighed, glancing over his shoulder before looking back at me. "What about him?"

I fell back against my chair, slumping slightly as I ran my hands down my face. "You.... Can see him?" 

"Yeah.. Why? What's wrong?" He appeared concerned, leaning more on the table. Staring right at him, panic bloomed in my chest.

"He looks exactly like my... My uh.. H-Halucination. Marco."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


	5. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere I read hallucinations could be memories from the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Sweet dreams are made of this"_

His eyes widened, looking me over. "You're positive?"

I really wished I wasn't. I wished nothing more than to just vanish because oh god he's coming over here. I quickly hide myself behind my menu, leaving Eren perplexed at my reaction. I didn't even look at the menu, I just pretended. Soon enough he walked over to our table, his voice the exact same sugary sweet pitch that I always heard.

"What can I get for you two?" My hands shook, sweat beading on my forehead. Clearing my throat, I managed to spit out my order, avoiding eye contact as he took our menus. As soon as his back turned, I excused myself and ran to the bathroom, shutting myself behind the door.

My breaths came all too sharp and fast, my hands shaking; _There's no way he's real_ echoing through my skull. I could hardly calm down, rubbing my eyes and attempting to focus on the music softly playing in the background. I composed myself the best I could, brushing my hands on my pants as I made my way back to our table, Eren leaning over the table to quietly whisper. "You okay?"

"As okay as I think I'm gonna be." I realized our drinks were on the table, but not our food, so there was still another chance of seeing him again. My stomach twisted itself in knots at the thought, biting my lip too hard between my teeth. Did I want to see him again?

Maybe.

Almost as if he was summoned by my thoughts, he appears, balancing our plates on a tray. He smiles too brightly, the spattering of freckles adorning his cheeks identical to my Marco. Setting down our food, I thank him softly, meeting his gaze before he left again. He tucked his tray under his arm, rubbing his nose as he exhaled a nervous chuckle.

"You seem familiar. You guys come to the restaurant often?" I glance at Eren and he's long gone. My plea for help goes unnoticed as he's more intent on attacking his monster of a steak with his silverware. My fingers graze through my undercut, our waiter patiently waiting for a reply.

"Ah... Yeah. Yep. This is uh.. The first time you served us though." He seemed to nod thoughtfully, suddenly pulled out of his reverie by the loud dinging in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I'll be back in a little while." His apologetic smile is just as dazzling as the one he puts on for the other customers, a small pang of envy wedging itself in my chest. I don't know if I want to see him again.

The meal however, was uneventful. And by uneventful I mean Eren coming up with colorful alternatives to swearing as he butchered his meat. Watching him was more distracting than I anticipated, the restaurant slowly growing more empty as I waited for him to simply give up.

Persistent bastard. 

Since it was slower, it meant Marco could risk sitting with us, so long as he occasionally left to check on other customers. 

He was exactly like my hallucination in every way possible.

And for a moment, I was caught between feeling insane and surprisingly normal but the more we talked, the more I felt at ease with myself. More natural.

I mean I felt like we could talk for hours and still everything I wanted to say wouldn't have been said. He made conversation effortless.

And when we left (before we got kicked out by the owners since they wanted to close up), it felt like I left a piece of myself behind with this insatiable craving to see him again and again. To see him enough to keep feeling whole.

Maybe he felt that way too when he whispered softly. "Come see me again? I had fun talking with you."

One could hope.


	6. Sentiments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm just an awful person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end.

The ease of conversation no matter how many times we talked- or didn't talk was always comfortable. The silence between us was never awkward. It was filled with things we didn't need to say, but already knew.

My time spent with Marco kept everything at bay, but as soon as we parted ways, I was a shaking mess crying into Eren's shoulder at two in the morning because I couldn't handle the chaos being thrown at me. I couldn't handle the dull ache in my chest that grew unbearably stronger the more often we met.

I was screwed. 

I had never felt like this and my hallucination Marco was nowhere to be found when I needed him most. I found myself relying on Eren more than I would like but he was surprisingly supportive and pretty damn comforting. But I hated how much trouble I was to him. I could see how much it affected him, the circles around his eyes mirroring my own. I didn't know how to fix it. It even taunted me in my dreams, hands clutching the sheets and gasping awake only to lay back down and stare at the ceiling until fatigue dragged me under again.

My hand was always reaching for Marco's, fingers intertwined. We spoke in soft whispers and the dull ache in my chest throbbed when I realized. I loved him. And I told him that. His laughter was infectious, soothing my panicky heart when he said that he loved me too. I took him home that night. And I felt a little less like a burden and more like a human even in my hyper-aware state of mind. My fingers trailed over his tan freckled skin as we shared hot breaths and our stares mingled for too long. 

I was happy. Listening to his soft breaths curled against my chest and even when I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to, afraid I'd miss a moment of his beauty. I traced every freckle down his back and marked his skin with tender kisses knowing that he was mine, and always would be. "Forever and always." That was what we had said, whispered to each other as I felt loved for the first time, as we embraced each other, as he told me about the sadness weighing on his soul.

Forever and always. I would listen to what he had to say and never let him go. I couldn't find it in me to let him go. Maybe it was selfish, and maybe my therapist would be proud. Eren not so much. But I had made a decision, probably another reckless one. But as we stood on the balcony together, it felt like we were the only ones in the world. Our bare feet on the cold concrete as our hands kissed the cold metal, standing between safety and oblivion.

"Is this what it felt like that day?" 

"Yeah. I felt free. Like I wasn't a burden any longer." I smiled softly, watching the horizon turn pink with the first rays of light.

"You never were." His lips whispered against my ear and then they were gone. I found his hazel eyes watching me, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

"But I always will be. Even if we share those small moments, I'll never be normal no matter how normal you make me feel." His lips brushed against my knuckles, holding on tightly as if he could never let go, the wind tugging at us, whispering softly.

"Do you ever feel like letting go?" His words were almost lost upon me, his gaze drifting down towards the street below.

"All the time. But I can never do it." His soft expression wasn't scared, but thoughtful. 

"You're stronger than you think. You've shown me that over the past few days. You probably think I deserve better, but I want only you." I wasn't prepared for that, squeezing his hand nervously now.

"Do you ever want to let go?"

"All the time. All the time Jean." 

He squeezed my hand tighter, smiling sadly at me as he leaned a little farther over the edge, teetering dangerously.

"We'll be together, forever and always Marco. You give me the strength to go on." I squeezed his hand back and glanced down for the briefest of moments, swallowing my fears and closing my eyes. 

_At 6:29 a.m. a young white male was found dead outside of the downtown Trost Apartment complex. It's reported that he lived alone and was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Cause of death has been determined as suicide._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably ended all too soon and I might expand on it more but the concept was fun and challenging

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


End file.
